Random Thoughts: Bowl Season Begins

[ED. NOTE: With the Early Signing Period coming Wednesday, Random Thoughts comes a day early.]

Bowl season got off to a pretty lackluster start with a lot of stinkers. Especially in the SEC.

PATHETIC

Las Vegas Bowl: Oregon State 30 Florida 3 - Billy Napier needs to do some major housecleaning. This program still has some major Dan Mullen stank to it. A pathetic effort by the Gators was nicely encapsulated by the above Tweet video. Gators QB Anthony Richardson opted out because he thinks he is NFL caliber or something. Back-up Jon Kitna is in the jail for being a perv. This meant UF had to go with journeyman Jack Miller III who put everyone to sleep with his quarterbacking skills (13/22, 180, 0, 0). As a team, Florida had 39 rushing yards on 33 attempts. A 40-yard field goal with 37 seconds left is the only thing that kept the Gators from being shut out.

UF was without All-American offensive lineman O’Cyrus Torrence, leading tackler Ventrell Miller, and No. 2 wide receiver Justin Shorter who all opted out. Still, there is no excuse to get thumped by the Beavers.

OTHER BLOWOUTS

Fenway Bowl: Louisville 24 Cincinnati 7 - Scott who? The Cards had no problem without coach Satterfield who recently changed sidelines to join the Bearcats. Looks like the ‘Ville figured out the problem with their team. Cincy had only 10 first downs and a pathetic 127 total yards for the game.

L.A. Bowl: Fresno 29 Washington State 6 - Remember the name Jake Haener. He is a very interesting NFL QB prospect. The Bulldogs quarterback, who broke most of David and Derek Carr’s passing records, was 24/36 passing for 280 yards and 2 TDs, 0 INTs. Jordan Mims rushed for a career-high 205 yards and two scores in a dominating win over the Cougars.

Jeff Tedford’s Fresno started the season 1-4 (all losses to bowl participants) and won nine in a row to finish 10-4.

OTHER STUFF

Mobile Bowl: Southern Miss 38 Rice 24 - Frank Gore Jr. ran wild against a 5-win Rice team who had no business being in a bowl game. The Eagles’ running back put up a massive 329 yards and two rushing touchdowns on only 21 carries (15.7 ypc) against a hapless Owls defense. Gore was also on the passing end of an 18-yard score.

Rice was the only 5-7 team allowed in a bowl game because there were not enough teams with 6 wins to participate. Army (6-6) got stuck at home because two of their wins were against FCS teams and the NCAA denied them a waiver. A USM-Army matchup would probably have made for a much more interesting game.

New Mexico Bowl: BYU 24 SMU 23 - Credit the Mustangs for going for the win with 8 ticks left instead of heading to OT. But as soon as they split four receivers out to the same side, it seemed pretty clear they were going to run a quarterback draw. The Cougars were not fooled for a second. Poor play call.

Frisco Bowl: Boise 35 North Texas 32 - Yep.

World Cup: DGAF

GROW UP ALREADY!

Oregon TE Cam McCormick has been granted a ninth year of eligibility by the NCAA. He makes Stetson Bennett XIV look like a teenager. This guy was in the same recruiting class as guys like Quinnen Williams, Mack Wilson and Jonah Williams - all of whom are in their fourth NFL seasons. Seriously though, Power-5 football needs their own governance. This is ridiculous.

CATCH OF THE WEEK

It’s called “effort”, Gators.

“AUNTIE, CHILL!”

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Boise WR Davis Koetter on how he plans to celebrate after the Smurfs’ bowl win: “I’m going to have a couple drinks. I’m 24 so I can say that, and I’m no longer a Boise State student-athlete.” He is son of OC Dirk Koetter.

WORST NON-OVERTURNED CALL OF THE WEEK

I suppose when you win nine of the last 11 FCS Championships and ESPN is airing the next game, you get a few perks.

SOMEBODY’S CRANKY

It got chippy during and after the Frisco Bowl.

DRUNKEST NAME OF THE WEEK

Fresno DB Evan Williams.

NAME CLARIFICATION OF THE WEEK

BLOCKS OF THE WEEK

PREGGERS OF THE WEEK

COOLEST MEMORIALS

STATIONARY RUNNING BACK OF THE WEEK

• Florida running back Montrell Johnson had 11 rush attempts for 14 yards. Teammate Trevor Etienne was 8-14, UF QB was 13-13.

COUSINS

• Troy (12-2) - The Trojans’ first five series consisted of four 3 & outs and a punt, putting them in a 12-0 hole against UTSA. The sixth possession saw Troy throw an interception but then having the defender fumble the ball back to Troy, recovered at the 13 yard line. That play led to a Trojans touchdown and a big momentum swing. In the second half, the Roadrunners turned the ball on their first three possessions, the third of which led to a Troy TD and an eventual 18-12 Trojans win in the Cure Bowl.
• South Alabama (10-2) - The Jags head to the New Orleans Bowl vs Western Kentucky on December 21.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO THINKS GENE BARTOW WAS A G.O.A.T.

• UAB (7-6) - The Dragons salvaged a winning season with a 24-20 win over Miami-Ohio. An oo-ab touchdown with a minute and a half remaining clinched the Bahamas Bowl.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

• Navy (4-7) - The Midshipmen are still looking for a replacement for Ken Niumatalolo.
• Army (5-6) - The Black Knights are contemplating changing their Facebook status from “single” to “married”. Army has been an independent since 2005 but are coming to terms with the reality of college football in the 2020s. Media rights deals have exploded into billions of dollars and they are missing out.
• Air Force (9-3) - The Falcons head to the Armed Forces Bowl in Fort Worth against Baylor December 22.

• ACC - 0-1
• Big 12 -
• Big Ten -
• PAC-12 - 1-1
• SEC - 0-1, thanks, Gators.
• Indies - 1-0

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

TOP BABY NAMES OF THE 2010s

1. Noah / Emma
2. Liam / Olivia
3. Jacob / Sophia
4. William / Isabella
5. Mason / Ava
6. Ethan / Mia
7. Michael / Abigail
8. Alexander / Emily
9. James / Charlotte
10. Elijah / Madison

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to the dickhole politicians who are trying to pass their annual defense authorization bill with a provision that would block academy graduates from deferring their service and playing pro sports right away. The potential change in rules regarding academy athletes looms large for Army linebacker Andre Carter who is seen as a likely early-round pick in next year’s NFL draft.

The reality is this new rule would only affect a handful of athletes, so what is the purpose? The original stipulation was put in place by former President Donald Trump in 2019. If the reason for the change of heart is because of the author if the current rule, that is some shameful pettiness. The three academies have a hard enough time signing recruits without yet another roadblock.

THE SICK REPORT

Significant players out with injuries:

• Michigan RB Blake Corum
• Ohio State RB TreVeyon Henderson, WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba (UGA gets lucky again)
• Iowa QB Spencer Petras
• Tennessee QB Hendon Hooker

DRAMA

Opt outs of note include the following:

• Tennessee WRs Jalin Hyatt and Cedric Tillman
• Mississippi State second leading rusher Dillon Johnson
• LSU CB Jay Ward
• Over-hyped Kentucky QB Will Levis, top two rushers Chris Rodriguez and Kavosiey Smoke
• Texas RB Bijan Robinson and LB DeMarvion Overshown
• Arkansas WR Jason Haselwood, LBs Drew Sanders and Bumper Pool
• UNC WR Josh Downs (Caleb Downs’s brother)
• Oklahoma OT Wanya Morris, RB Eric Gray
• Maryland WRs Rakim Jarrett and Jacob Copeland
• Pitt starting QB Sedon Klovis
• NC State starting QB Devin Leary
• Notre Dame leading receiver TE Michael Mayer, DE Isaiah Foskey, starting QB Drew Pyne
• South Carolina leading rusher MarShawn Lloyd
• Clemson bust QB DJ Uiagalelei
• Penn State leading receiver Parker Washington, CB Joey Porter
• Utah TE Dalton Kincaid

OTHER STUFF

• Bo Nix has announced he will return to Oregon for his ninth season of college football.
• TCU QB Max Duggan will enter NFL draft.
• Michigan’s 2023 out of conference schedule is East Carolina, UNLV, and Bowling Green - all at home.
• Former 5-star LB recruit Justin Flowe downgraded his situation by committing to transfer from Oregon to Arizona. He had 35 tackles this season.

KOACHES KORNER

Lotsa 30-something rookie head coaches.

• Purdue made an out-of-the-blue decision to hire 36-year old Ryan Walters as their new head coach. Most recently, he served as the defensive coordinator for Missouri (2018–2020) and Illinois (2021–2022).
• North Texas turned to 37-year old Eric Morris as their head man. He built Incarnate Word into an FCS power (2018–2021) before one season as Washington State OC in 2022.
• Kent State hired 39-year old Kenni Burns who was Minnesota’s running back coach and seems mighty underqualified.
• Oregon State coach Jonathan Smith was given a big fat raise to the tune of $30.6 million over six years.
• Barry Odom hired Bobby Petrino to be his offensive coordinator at UNLV. Petrino had been coaching Missouri State. Upon his departurem the school promoted defensive coordinator Ryan Beard to the the head job. In a weird twist, Beard is Petrino’s son-in-law. Petrino went 5-5, 8-4, and 5-6 in his three seasons with the Bears.
• Urban Meyer was walking a young boy into the woods. The boy turned to him and said, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” Urban replied, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
• Fat F*** Phil Fulmer is so fat that he needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.

THIS WEEK

Monday, Dec. 19

Myrtle Beach Bowl: Marshall vs. UConn 1:30/2:30 ESPN

Tuesday, Dec. 20

Potato Bowl: Eastern Michigan vs. San Jose State 2:30/3:30 p.m. ESPN

Boca Raton Bowl: Liberty vs. Toledo 6:30/7:30 p.m. ESPN

Wednesday, Dec. 21

New Orleans Bowl: South Alabama vs. Western Kentucky 8/9 p.m. ESPN

Thursday, Dec. 22

Armed Forces Bowl: Baylor vs. Air Force 6:30/7:30 p.m. ESPN

Friday, Dec. 23

Independence Bowl: Houston vs. Louisiana 2/3 p.m. ESPN

Gasparilla Bowl: Wake Forest vs. Missouri 5:30/6:30 p.m. ESPN

Saturday, Dec. 24

Hawaii Bowl: Middle Tennessee State vs. San Diego State 7/8 p.m. ESPN

Monday, Dec. 26

Detroit Bowl: Bowling Green vs. New Mexico State 1:30/2:30 p.m. ESPN

SABAN vs. MACK, POP & BEAR

Below is a count of career FBS/Division I-A win totals for coaches.

For those of you new to RBR Random Thoughts, we count all on-field wins at the FBS/Division I-A level. So, before you go squawking about Frank Beamer, 42 of his wins came at Murray State. Mack Brown had six victories in one season with Appalachian State when they were still in what was known at I-AA (FCS today). Brian Kelly won 118 games with something called Grand Valley State. So, let’s stop talking about his win record with such reverence. In addition, we don’t recognize NCAA sanctioned forfeits. If you won on the field, it counts in our books.

Mack Brown and UNC play Oregon on Wednesday, December 28 in San Diego.

#ALABAMA

• The Crimson Tide started bowl practice last Friday and have no opt outs for guys prepping for the NFL Draft.
• WR Aaron Anderson has Tweeted that he is transferring to LSU. So glad that Alabama could give him some of the nation’s greatest health and rehab services over the last year just so he could skip off to a rival.
• OL Javion Cohen has announced a commitment to transfer to Miami.
• DB Khyree Jackson is heading to Oregon with WR Traeshon Holden.
• Wide receiver JoJo Earle commits to team du jour TCU.
• Still undecided are OL Tommy Brockermeyer (maybe TCU), OL Damieon George, OL Amari Kight, and RB Trey Sanders.

GAME 13 - SUGAR BOWL: Saturday, December 31, 2022

Kansas State Wildcats (10-3) vs Alabama Crimson Tide (10-2)

New Orleans, LA ~ 11am/12 noon ESPN

• Chris Klieman has led K-State to their first conference championship and first double digit win season since 2012. It is only their third championship since 1934.
• The Nawlins weather forecast calls for a high of 67° and showers. Not exactly conducive to walking the city.
• TV Announcers: Dave Pasch and Dusty Dvoracek with Tom Luginbill on the sidelines.
• Eli Gold recently said he hopes to be back on Alabama Radio by A-Day. We’ll see...
• Alabama has never played Kansas State.
• The point spread opened with Bama as a -5.5 favorite but dropped as low as -3. After the announcements of no opt-outs, it rose back to -6. The Over/Under is around 56. So, apparently having the nation’s best defender and the 2021 Heisman winner on your team makes a field goal’s worth of improvement.