Random Thoughts: College Football Is Back And We’re Loving It

The college football main course has not arrived yet. But in the meantime, fans were served some delectable hors d’oeuvres.

FROSTY TAKES

Northwestern 31 Nebraska 28 - This game was tightly contested through two quarters. In the third quarter, Nebraska seemed to take control of momentum and the game when they scored a touchdown on a long 88 yard drive, forced and recovered a fumble on the Wildcats next play from scrimmage, and scored again to make it 28-17. However, ‘Huskers head coach Scott Frost made the baffling decision to kick an onside kick. And it was a BAD onside kick that was easily recovered by Northwestern. With big Mo back in their corner, the ’Cats would drive 44 yards to shrink Nebraska’s lead to 4 points. Ya see, Scotty. This is one of those times when a head coach should think to himself “WWSD?” In other words, What Would Saban Do? He wouldn’t try an onside kick, that is for certain.

Early in the fourth quarter, former Texas starter, now Nebraska starter, Casey Thompson would throw an interception that was returned to the 42 and would be converted into the go-ahead and eventual winning score for Northwestern.

FREEZING COLD TAKE OF THE WEEK

Tim Brando has found a soulmate. ^^^

AD HONOREM

Yes kids, you too can be a world-famous sports writer! All you need is a motormouth, a Twitter account, and godawful takes on college football.

PSEUDO SEC

Vanderbilt 63 Hawaii 10 - One of two things (or possibly two things) were learned late Saturday night/Sunday morning: 1) Vandy is MUCH improved over last season; 2) Hawaii is in some deep doodoo bad; or 3) Most likely a combination of the two. The Rainbow Warriors had some off-season drama and fired Todd Graham - which IMHO was due to some whiny zoomer players who have been coddled all their lives and didn’t like being yelled at. UH made the classic mistake of hiring a legendary alum as head coach in former quarterback Timmy Chang who has absolutely zero experience being a coordinator much less a head coach. This would be equivalent to Alabama hiring someone like John Parker Wilson.

They say in the SEC “It Just Means More”. That mantra was certainly put on display in this game as even a basement-dwelling doormat such as Vandy can wipe up the floor with a team like the R-Warriors. The ‘Dores QB Mike Wright ran right by Hawaii defenders with ease en route to 163 yards rushing and two touchdowns. He also passed for a pair of scores.

[SIDE NOTE: To encourage non-conference teams to agree to travel to Hawaii for a game, the NCAA enacted the “Hawaii Exemption” which allows the away team to schedule a 13th game. Surprisingly or maybe ignorantly, Vanderbilt chose not to do this. It will be a darn shame if the ‘Dores get to the end of the season at 5-7 when they could have added Saint Mary’s College For Wayward Halfbacks and become bowl eligible.]

Florida Atlantic 43 Charlotte 13 - Former Miami QB N’Kosi Perry led the Owls to a dominating win as he amassed 256 through the air and 118 on the ground. Charlotte managed only 279 yards and 11 first downs.

SCOUTING FUTURE OPPONENTS

Utah State 31 UConn 20 - I don’t think many folks expected the 2021 Mountain West Champion to struggle against sad sack UConn. The Huskies took an early 14-0 lead but then gave up 24 unanswered points in the second quarter. The second half was mostly punts and turnovers. An ugly game.

Western Kentucky 38 Austin Peay 27 - WKU held only a one point advantage in the third quarter. AP’s four turnovers doomed them from an upset bid.

LAME ACC

Florida State 47 Duquesne 7 - I didn’t even know Doo-Kane had a football team.

North Carolina 56 Florida A&M 24 - Down 26 players including having only 7 offensive linemen due to academic issues (and entitled zoomers), FAMU almost cancelled this game. But the $450,000 payday overruled the whiners. And it’s a good thing they did. The FCS school actually kept it interesting for awhile as they trailed by only 11 entering the final quarter.

THE BERT BEAT

Illinois 38 Wyoming 6 - Bert’s Illini outgained the Cowboys 477 to 212.

JFF YOLO PLAY OF THE WEEK

You can open your eyes now, Casey.

WORST NAJEE IMITATION OF THE WEEK

That dude got like 3 inches off the ground. lol

BEST PROTHRO IMITATION OF THE WEEK

STATIONARY RUNNING BACK OF THE WEEK

North Texas’s Ikaika Ragsdale had 10 yards on 7 rush attempts. A little quick math will tell you that is 1.4 yards per carry.

NAME OF THE WEEK

Miami LB Waynmon Steed - I wonder if his parents are Jamaican and when the nurse was filling out the birth certificate she asked what his name is, and the reply was “It’s Wayne, mon.”

STATS OF THE WEEK

Against Utah State, UConn LB Jackson Mitchell had 7 solo tackles, 9 assists, 1 sack, 1 forced fumble and 2 fumble recoveries. If the junior does not go pro after this season, look for someone to portal this dude!

HOT SEAT OF THE WEEK

That is no typo. Frost is by far the worst coach Nebraska has had since the legendary Tom Osborne retired. Below is a list of those coaches.

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESI

Desmond Howard has made some crazy picks in his time on GameDay, but his CFP picks tops them all. His Final 4 includes Texas A&M (his SEC winner), Pitt (his ACC winner), Baylor (his Big 12 winner) and Michigan (his Big 10 winner). INSANE. Howard has Texas A&M topping Michigan in the national championship game. Kirk Herbstreit’s reaction about says it all.

David Pollack has a better grasp on reality going with Alabama over Clemson and Ohio State over Utah, with the Tide taking home another Big Beer Tap Trophy.

Lee Corso went with Bama over Utah and anOSU over UGA with the Buckys winning it all.

Herbstreit took Bama over Baylor, and also sees anOSU beating Georiga and then Alabama. He also made his conference picks and there are not too many stretches except one:

• ACC: Clemson over Miami
• B1G: Ohio State over (?!?!) Nebraska
• B12: Baylor over Oklahoma
• PAC: Utah over Oregon
• SEC: Bama over UGA

GameDay will be in Columbus for the Notre Dame-Ohio State game.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

Still thinking about the adoption teams, we may need a few weeks. Should we bring back UT-Martin? The Skyhawks play at Boise and at Tennessee in 2022 - two teams worth cheering against.

COUSINS

• Troy (0-1) - The Trojans begin the season at Ole Miss. I have already updated their record to reflect the impending result.
• South Alabama (0-0) - The Jags host puny little Nicholls State. Hopefully, USA will be able to handle the FCS school but I’m not changing the record just yet.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO TALKS ON HIS PHONE ON SPEAKER IN THE GROCERY STORE

• UAB (1-0) - The Dragons gonna beat up on poor little Alabama A&M. Record updated.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

• Army (0-0) - The Black Knights travel to Coastal Carolina.
• Navy (0-0) - The Midshipmen host the Delaware Blue Hens!
• Air Force (0-0) - The Falcons welcome Northern Iowa into Colorado Springs.

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Definite elimination: Nebraska.

Endangered: UNC

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

• ACC - Does anyone else get the feeling Clemson won’t make the CFP?
• Big 12 - Not the strongest of conferences this year.
• Big Ten - Everyone seems head over heels in love Ohio State.
• PAC-12 - Utah heads to the Swamp this week.
• SEC - Bama and UGA are faves.
• Indies - Notre Dame has a tough one right off the bat to Ohio State

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

No ranked teams played in Weak Zero, so here is the rankings of most forgotten cereals from the 1970s per MeTV.com.

1. Waffelos

2. Fortified Oat Flakes

3. Fruit Brute

4. Buc Wheats

5. Corny Snaps

6. Crazy Cow

7. Graham Crackos

8. Most

9. Magic Puffs

10. Super Orange Crisp

11. Sir Grapefellow

LET’S GO BOWLING!

SEC Bowl Tie-Ins, Affiliations

The SEC has ten tie-ins to bowls this season, not counting any participants in the CFP. The SEC Champion automatically goes to the Sugar Bowl in the rare chance they are not selected for the College Football Playoff. Otherwise, the highest-ranked available SEC team goes to Nawlins.

1. First Pick: Sugar Bowl vs Big 12
2. Second Pick: Citrus Bowl vs Big Ten

The SEC will assign teams to the respective bowls in this pool.

• Liberty Bowl vs Big 12
• Texas Bowl vs Big 12
• Tampa Bowl vs Big Ten or ACC
• Las Vegas Bowl vs. Pac-12
• Gator Bowl vs ACC
• Music City Bowl vs Big Ten

Second Tier

• Birmingham Bowl vs American Athletic
• Gasparilla Bowl vs AAC, ACC, or Pac-12

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to all the preseason love sent Nebraska’s way. All we heard in the off-season was how the Cornhuskers had “eight of losses by one score!!1!” in 2021. So what? A loss is a loss. This isn’t the NHL.

Another big argument the talking heads had for UN being good this season was that they had 20 transfers. In his Ole Miss preview, my esteemed colleague, CB969, wrote the following about the Rebels:

“There will be a learning curve this season on how well teams cope with bringing in so many new faces that are expected to contribute on a high level and see how well they can come together as a team. All things being even, I’ll take the team that has played together for more than six months.”

It makes you wonder if Nebraska is Exhibit A against building a team on transfers.

HEISMAN HYPE

In 2021, Bryce Young was the overwhelming winner of the Heisman Trophy with 684 first place votes. C.J. Stroud was a distant fourth place finisher with a measly 12 first place votes. Since that time, neither player have played a down of football, yet somehow Stroud is ahead as the favorite. Go figure.

Below are the top early Heisman picks in order of the money lines and there have been some changes. Odds are provided by DraftKings and many more options can be seen at that link including Maryland’s Taulia Tagovailoa at +15000. [Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.]

1. QB C.J. Stroud (JR, Ohio State) +220
2. QB Bryce Young (JR, Alabama) from +380 to +400
3. QB Caleb Williams (Soph, Southern Cal) +700
4. EDGE Will Anderson (JR, Alabama) +1600
5. RB TreVeyon Henderson (Soph, Ohio State) from +3500 to +2200
6. RB Bijan Robinson (JR, Texas) +2200
7. WR Jaxon Smith-Njigba (JR, Ohio State) +2500
8. RB Jahmyr Gibbs (JR, Alabama) from +3500 to +3000

THE SICK REPORT

• Auburn starting center and former Preseason All-SEC pick Nick Brahms is retiring from football after attempting to come back from knee surgery in the winter.

POLICE BLOTTER

• First-team All-SEC running back Chris Rodriguez will miss Kentucky’s opener versus Miami-OH and could face further suspension for a summer DUI and reckless driving arrest. The Wildcats travel to Florida for Game 2.
• Kansas indefinitely suspended starting wide receiver Trevor Wilson on Monday after he and a reserve teammate were arrested last week near campus. Wilson was charged with suspicion of aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon.

DRAMA

• Auburn fired AD Allen Greene on Friday, basically because he fired the football coach he did not want to fire and hired the football coach he did not want to hire. Beyond that whole soap opera, most people agree that Greene had done a good job on the Plains. And many of them took to Twitter including Tennessee AD Danny White who threw some serious shade Auburn’s way. Next up, look for AU to hire some good ol’ boy with deep Aubie roots who the boosters can tell what to do - like them good ol’ days!

KOACHES KORNER

• Urban Meyer celebrated his return to the airwaves by eating a live kitten.
• Fat F*** Phil Fulmer never pays for meals at restaurants because he can’t reach his wallet in his back pocket.

TEEVEE

Atlanta’s TV broadcast for FOX switched from the third quarter of the Nebraska-Northwestern game to a meaningless preseason matchup between the lowly Falcons and lowlier Jaguars. Wow, FOX. Know your audience!

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest. If you REALLY need to know about the big Bryant-FIU showdown, you can find the details here.)

Thursday, September 1

West Virginia at Pitt (-7.5) 6pm/7pm ESPN - The Backyard Brawl returns after an 11 year hiatus.
Ball State at Tennessee (-35) 6pm/7pm SECN
Louisiana Tech at Missouri (-19.5) 7pm/8pm ESPNU
Penn State (-3.5) at Purdue 7pm/8pm FOX

Friday, September 2

* 8 games are being played but none of them are worth mentioning.

Saturday, September 3

SEC

Lotsa cupcakes...

Sam Houston at Texas A&M (no line) 11am/noon SECN
Oregon at Georgia (-17) 2:30/3:30 ABC (Atlanta) - Does Bo Nix have any more VooDoo Majick left in him to beat the Dwags?
Cincinnati at Arkansas (-6.5) 2:30/3:30 ESPN - Could be a scary one for Arky.
Troy at Ole Miss (-22) 3pm/4pm SECN
Utah (-3) at Florida 6pm/7pm ESPN - Utah needs this win.
Miami (OH) at Kentucky (-16) 6pm/7pm SEC+
Mercer at Auburn (no line) 6pm/7pm SEC+
Elon at Vanderbilt (no line) 6pm/7pm SEC+
Memphis at Mississippi State (-15) 6:30/7:30 ESPNU - Memphis upset Clanga last season.
Georgia State at South Carolina (-13) 6:30/7:30 SEC+ - GSU’s head coach Shawn Elliott was an SCar assistant from 2010-2016. He was also interim head coach (1-5) after Steve Spurrier peaced out midway through the 2015 season. He has been looking forward to this game for a long while.

OTHERS ON SATURDAY

The two big North Carolina schools have agreed to travel to smaller schools from their state. Don’t think for a second that these home teams won’t be up for these games.

NC State at East Carolina 11am/noon ESPN
North Carolina at Appalachian State 11am/noon ESPNU - Appy beat UNC in 2019.

ELIMINATOR?

* Notre Dame at Ohio State (-17.5) 6:30/7:30 ABC

INSOMNIACS ONLY

Boise at Oregon State (-3) 9:30/10:30pm ESPN - This could be a good one.

Sunday, September 4

Florida State at LSU (-3) 6:30/7:30 ABC (New Orleans) - Two former National Champs trying to rebuild.

Monday, September 5

Clemson (-22) at Georgia Tech 7pm/8pm ESPN

Lines when available are provided by DraftKings.

SABAN vs. MACK, POP & BEAR

Saban does a lot of great things. Acting is not one of them.

Sad little Mack Brown picked up one game on Nick Saban by defeating a depleted HBCU team. Congrats...

Below is a count of career FBS/Division I-A win totals for coaches.

For those of you new to RBR Random Thoughts, we count all on-field wins at the FBS/Division I-A level. So, before you go squawking about Frank Beamer, 42 of his wins came at Murray State. Mack Brown had six victories in one season with Appalachian State when they were still in what was known at I-AA (FCS today). Brian Kelly won 118 games with something called Grand Valley State. So, let’s stop talking about his win record with such reverence. In addition, we don’t recognize NCAA sanctioned forfeits. If you won on the field, it counts in our books.

#ALABAMA

• Alabama announced that all points of sale at Bryant-Denny Stadium will be cashless this fall. They are @graciously@ allowing fans to exchange cash for a University Fancard. I wonder how many Schrute Bucks you get in one of those cards?
• Saban on Cameron Latu (knee): “Cam’s gonna start practicing today. We’ll see how he progresses, see how he does. I don’t think anyone can make a prediction on that now.”

GAME 1: Saturday, September 3, 2022

Alabama Crimson Tide (0-0) vs. Utah State Aggies (1-0)

Tuscaloosa, AL ~ 6:30pm CT/7:30pm ET, SEC NETWORK

• The Aggies had a bit of a struggle with UConn. Were they rusty? Were they caught looking ahead to Bama?
• 24-year old QB Logan Bonner threw his first collegiate pass back in 2017 as a member of Arkansas State. This season will be his sixth year of collegiate football and second with Utah State. He has thrown at least 20 passes in all six campaigns.
• Former Alabama WR Xavier Williams played last week but did not start. Eight different Aggies caught passes but Williams was not one of them.
• Tuscaloosa forecast calls for a high of 84° with scattered thunderstorms and a chance of rain at 58%. Prepare accordingly.
• TV Announcers: Tom Hart and Jordan Rodgers with Cole Cubelic.
• Radio: Chris Stewart (meh face emoticon) will tag in for the first couple of weeks on Alabama Radio.
• The Crimson Tide have a 2-0 edge over USU all time. They met in Tuscaloosa in 2004 and 2005. The Tide won by a collective score of 83-20.
• The line provided by DraftKings has Bama as a -41½ favorite. I hope you got in last week when it was 38½. The Over/Under stayed at 62½.

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.