Jumbo Package: The battle at corner is still undecided heading to Austin. And let’s hate on Texas!

Let us begin today’s lead story with a Khyree Jackson ultraviolence appreciation post for the ole’ Droogs:

Four guys vying for two starting cornerback spots — and all four of them can conceivably start. That’s both the blessing and curse of Alabama that fans of poverty programs simply will never understand.

Did Utah State sort anything out in this most-anticipated battle?

Not even remotely:

“I think everybody needs to focus on improvement each week,” Saban said after Wednesday’s practice session. “There’s new challenges, new things, new patterns, new things to match up. Who can do that the best? Who shows the most maturity? Who can stay focused? Who can play with the most consistency?

“That’s always the challenge at every position, and it’s certainly the challenge for those guys at corner.”

Kool-Aid McKinstry and Terrion Arnold opened the Utah State game as the starting corners, but Alabama elected to use four players at the position last Saturday night. LSU transfer Eli Ricks entered the game on the Crimson Tide’s third defensive series, while Khyree Jackson saw the field at the start of the second quarter before the quartet rotated the rest of the night

Each of them had a highlight or two, or did something different on the field, such that 60 full minutes of football against the defending MWC champ, an entire fall camp, and another week of practice still haven’t sorted out the two-deep. (Do you realize how much he loves not having a depth chart here and screwing with reporters?)

So, who starts on Saturday? Your guess is as good as mine, though I would bet we get Khyree and Kool Aid to start...or not:

“I haven’t that decided,” Saban said. “It’s continued this week in practice, so we’re taking it one day at a time. We’ll see what happens.”

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Before the season, a few of our crew here were freaked out about the wide receivers (not naming any names, but Brent knows who he is). I was pretty sanguine about it. The headcases were kicked to the curb, the bench was deep, the incoming class had some playmakers, impact transfers arrived, and now guys knew it was was their turn to step up.

It seems Saban is just as pleased with them:

During the meeting, Saban discussed his pleasure with the wide receiver group and how they performed in the season opener.

“I was really pleased with the way that group in total, guys returning as well as newcomers. performed in the game,” said Saban.

The seven-time national champion mentioned three names that stuck out to him versus Utah State: Kobe Prentice, Isaiah Bond, and Jermaine Burton.

Notice who’s not even listed on there? Alabama’s leading receiver and Bryce Young Security Blankie, Traeshon Holden. Now, add Harrell and Ja’Corey to the mix, and the Tide are as loaded at wideout as anyone in the country.

More on ‘Bama’s ridiculous wealth of weapons here.

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Remember now, no “horns down” gesture when facing Texas. They may get all up in their fee-fees...and the Tide may draw a 15-yard penalty.

It is a rule so absurd that Saban didn’t even know it existed (but thanked the reporter for letting him know).

What a bunch of teat-fed crybullies.

Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images

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This was actually pretty funny. Ed Orgeron, knowing his days were numbered at LSU, was finally called to the carpet in Baton Rouge to be informed of his termination. Here’s how it played out:

“I gotta tell you, we had a meeting, (LSU administrators) said, ‘Coach, things are not going well,’” Orgeron recalled. “(I said) ‘No, shit. Ray Charles could see that, brother.’

“He said ‘Coach, you got 17.1 million dollars on your contract; we’re going to give it to you.’

“I said, ‘What time you want me to leave and what do you want me out of, brother?’”

LOL. I suspect that would be most of our reaction. Get away from insane LSU fans and get a cool $17 million to sit on the beach?

Hell yeah, fire me any day. I won’t even take time to remove my motivational “hang in there” kitten poster.

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This is what concerns me about facing Sark’s offense. I’m fairly confident the defense will affect Ewers all game; and that Bijan Robinson can be bottled up, but Alabama’s kryptonite has been backs and tight ends in space. Kirby couldn’t scheme against it; Baldy couldn’t; Tosh was busy eating crayons on the sidelines; Scruffy McPartypants can’t defend it either.

Alabama practically kept Dan Mullen employed over the last decade with its inability to defends tight ends and backs in the passing game. I still have nightmares of Kyle Pitts, Josh Robinson, and Kadarius Toney loping in our secondary like the freest of gazelle on the African savanna. And, really, who can forget that charming two-game swing against Mizzou and A&M in 2020, where Alabama helped get two tight ends drafted.

So, uh yeah. Let’s cover those guys, please?

On defending running backs and tight ends in the passing game...

“It depends. The linebackers are not running backs. Jahmyr Gibbs, their No. 5 (Bijan Robinson), is probably a little better athlete than some of our guys that are gonna be covering him, so they gotta do a great job in technique. We gotta affect the quarterback so he doesn’t have a lot of time to throw it. So hopefully if we can make them protect sometimes, we won’t have to cover them. But he is a good player, and I’ve said it many times: tight ends and running backs are mismatch players because linebackers are bigger, more physical guys and they’ve gotta be really good athletes to be able to play in space to cover them. I think our guys have improved and I have confidence in our guys, but it’ll be a challenge for them.”

As usual, Potter has you covered with everything else Coach Saban said in his final presser yesterday.

And, for those you who prefer to listen, here it is via Al.com

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“What if Georgia is even better this year?!” has been the frothing mantra this week. And, honestly, I wish they’d take the top spot from Alabama. Because Kirby is welcome to allllll that rat poison.

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Don’t get ready for that expanded playoff anytime soon. There are a lot of substantive issues that remain unresolved, including scheduling. Though, as Dellenger noted in SI, the scheduling is almost certainly going to mean weekday games:

Commissioners have established tentative dates for the four rounds, but nothing is concrete. The first round falls roughly two weeks after conference title games. The second round kicks off on the typical New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day window. The semifinals would be played a week later followed by a championship game that, depending on the year, could kick off two or three weeks into January.

The CFP tipped its hand in the release announcing the particulars of the new expansion: There must be at least 12 days between conference championship games and the first round. The 12th day after Saturday conference title games is a … Thursday.

“We all have to get ready for weekday playoff games,” says one high-placed source within the CFP.

As if this thing couldn’t be a bigger joke than it already was. People don’t have jobs; students don’t have classes; players don’t need to rest; fans cash is inexhaustible.

Moar! Moar games, moar snaps, more blowouts, more depreciation of the season; more devaluation of football a traditional institution of the students and alums and schools; above all, more money into the maws of hack athletic directors who can’t manage a pot to piss in.

And we have all this to blame simply because Oklahoma State couldn’t beat a shitty 3-8 Iowa State team on the road.

Why no, I’m not a fan of the playoff, much less expansion. Why do you ask?

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And, finally, a rant: Texas are assholes.

And, finally, let us end with some hate. Because I’ve been building up to a steady boil for the last few days. There are a few naughty words here, but nothing beyond the pale.

I have a confession to make.

This game has been just another one to me for years. Oh, sure, the historian in me appreciates two of the winningest programs in history meeting one another. But the Longhorns are a spent force. They’ve not been relevant in a decade, and only occasionally since the days of DKR have they had sustained success.

Texas is, in short, Georgia and Michigan-tier: fart-sniffing kids with a checkbook. You don’t ever fully count them out; too much local talent, money, and institutional support. But they’ve drank from that victors’ chalice rarely over the last half-century.

Still, like Georgia, they’ve really begun tap-dancing on my ever-last nerve of late. The fans are Vawl-level delusional. The administration are filled with petty jerks. The boosters and entire dynamic are Auburn-grade dysfunctional and toxic. Generally, they’re just assholes.

See this? This is something only a school full of assholes would do:

Although the SEC has game agreements that say visiting fan tickets will be spread among the lower and upper bowls, the Big 12 doesn’t, and Texas placed all of Alabama’s seats in the nosebleeds.

This isn’t new. Back in 2019, LSU’s marching band was also placed in the upper bowl, and when people started bringing attention to it on social media, the Texas athletic director Chris Del Conte gave an explanation in a tweet.

“We moved the visitors section from the lower bowl to give our students a contiguous student section thus creating a fantastic atmosphere for in DKR.. if a visiting team elects to bring their band must sit in the seats allotted for visitors.”

And here’s what it looks like in practice:

Alabama didn’t even play that game — they left the Million Dollar Band at home. Beats banging out a few bars of Tusk for the overflying pigeons. That’s an actual shame too. This was a once-in-a-lifetime excursion for the 500 or so members of the band, who are out there in heavy wool uniform busting their ass all summer, alongside the players.

Who ruins that experience for college kids?
An asshole would.
A Texas-sized asshole did.

They’re just such...parvenus. New-money, low-rent, low-class trash in $2200 suits. Auburn doesn’t do that to visitors. LSU doesn’t even do that visitors.

Texas did.

Look, I didn’t want these clowns in the SEC to begin with; I want them here even less now. At least Aggie-Alabama have a wealth of historical ties. At least you can respect Oklahoma because they are a tough out and the teams have become intersectional rivals across many sports over the last two decades. But, there’s just nothing good to say about Texas (outside of the all-white uniforms, which are pretty sweet).

Even Austin sucks now.

It’s San Jose with fake drawls, gastropubs, and $78,000 pickup trucks that have never been off of pavement. All hat, no cattle...not even the weirdness anymore. You’re not finding Kinky Friedman on Sixth Street. Jim Hightower isn’t going to show up with shit-kickers to talk ag policy with you. Just another bland, generic, overpriced Millennial Six Flags.

Texas is very hateable and growing moreso by the day...because I really don’t like assholes. Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

But, if you want to join me in hating on the Longhorns, feel free to do so below. This is a safe space.

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We’ll have some more for you later, including a hoops story that is dropping at 8:30. And we’ve already hit you with Giving Away Money today, so check that out if you get the chance.

Have a great one!

Roll Tide, and Horns Down