Random Thoughts: November Nerves

“The thinnest yellow light of November is more warming and exhilarating than any wine they tell of.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

As much as they are trying, ESPN and the NCAA have not quite ruined college football yet. We have bear witness to some wild and wacky games with much more to play.

Alabama 42 LSU 28 - It could be said that the Crimson Tide won this game thanks in part to an LSU offensive lineman. It was a close back-and-forth affair with both teams answering each other. With the game tied at the half, LSU received the second half kickoff and the scoring edge. Both teams scored on their first possessions and the Tigers began another drive. QB Jayden Daniels picked up 25 yards on a run to get the Bayou Bengals to the Crimson Tide 35 yard line. But wait! There’s a flag. A holding call on LSU OL Will Campbell set the Tigers back to 2nd and 17 at LSU 30. With the Tigers behind the sticks, they could not pick up a first down and had to punt. Suddenly, the edge flipped to Alabama. Jalen Milroe would drive the field for the go-ahead score and you could feel the momentum shift. heading into the final frame. On the first play of the 4th quarter, Terrion Arnold intercepted a Daniels pass on a ball batted in the air by Dallas Turner that set the Tide up at the LSU 27. A short scoring drive would put the Tide up 42-28 but it might as well have been 420-28.

The Hit: Soon after LSU got the ball back, Daniels dropped back to pass and was drilled by Dallas Turner. The Bama linebacker was flagged for roughing the passer, but not targeting. This play set the Cajun Twitter boys off as they all screamed and cried and stomped their feet. However among most of the national media, this was not targeting. Turner did not lower his head; He hit him with his facemask to the chest, just like the stupid NCAA wants. Unbiased guys like Josh Pate, CFB Nerds, and even LSU guys like T-Bob Hebert agreed. They and others also agreed that the Tigers’ QB getting knocked out of the game did not affect the final outcome. Alabama was winning this game. But, BOY, are the fanboyz mad down on the Bayou. And since we are whining about targeting, how about this unnecessary launch by Harold Perkins (#4) at Milroe?

One last note: Have you noticed how much Daniels chews on his mouthpiece instead of keeping it is his mouth? Ya think maybe his bell would’ve been a little less rung had he been using it correctly?

Georgia 30 Missouri 21 - The Bulldogs and the officials defeated Mizzou in the Dwags’ first game against a ranked team this season. Among some of the more questionable calls: ticky tacky pass interference, a horse collar no-call, and a Mizz runner being tackled at the sidelines that was ruled in-bounds and lost the Tigers several seconds just before the half. Most controversial was an offensive pass interference on Georgia that was reviewed and overturned because the UGA pass landed behind the line of scrimmage and it was determined that the WR’s blocking wasn’t PI. It sure seemed that the officials went to a lot of effort to get UGA out of a mess.

Mizzy hung in there for awhile but an inexcusable pass by Brady Cook was picked off by a 320 D-lineman and that clinched the win by UGA.

FUTURE SEC

Texas 33 Kansas State 30 (OT) - After going up 27-7 in the second quarter, K-State would storm back with three touchdowns but a muff on the extra point of the third score kept the game tied at 27-all. The Wildcats special teams misery did not end there. After UT took a three point lead, KSU had a nice long drive but missed a 27 yard field goal. However, the K-State kicker would make up for his miss by drilling a 45-yarder as regulation time expired. In OT, Texas booted a 3-pointer. Kansas State had the ball 1st and goal at Texas 6 but could not score.

Oklahoma State 27 Oklahoma 24 - There would be no storybook ending for Dillon Gabriel (or is it Gabriel Dillon?) this time. In the final Bedlam Game for the foreseeable future, Okie Lite stuck a dagger in the hearts of the Sooners’ hopes for a CFP spot. THE OSU scored ten straight fourth quarter points to take a 27-21 lead. Okie came back with a field goal and coaxed a punt out of the Cowpokes for one last gasp. The Sooners made it to the midfield but turned the ball over on downs.

SEC

Ole Miss 38 Texas A&M 35 - Lane Kiffin might have just sent Jimbo Fisher off into retirement. In a must-win for the Aggies, there was an explosion of offense on both sides but an OM interception tilted the scales in their favor in the second half. After trailing the Rebs 20-14, Max Johnson was picked off in the end zone following a 12 play, 70 yard drive to open the third quarter. The Black Shark Rebel Bears would move the ball 80 yards for a Quinshon Judkins score that put Ole Missy up 28-14. For the rest of the game, TAMU would be playing catch-up and finally took a 35-31 lead with 4 and a half minutes to play. But another long drive and another Judkins score gave OM the lead with 1:40 remaining. The Aggs had one last drive in them and attempted a 47 yarder at the buzzer that was tipped at the line of scrimmage just enough for the ball to fall a few feet short.

Arkansas 39 Florida 36 - The Hogs FINALLY got their first SEC win, topping the reeling Gators in overtime. Arky scored a TD on their first possession and then doubled it up after a strip and score put the Razorbacks up early 14-0. Florida would comeback to tie it at 14-14 and the chase was on. The Gators had a chance to win with 3 ticks left but a 44 yard field goal attempt was no good. In the first OT, Fla could only gain four yards and kicked a 39 yard field goal. Two big gainers put Ark at the 4 yard line and KJ Jefferson threw the winning touchdown pass. It is a devastating loss for Billy Napier’s troops (5-4). Arky staves off bowl elimination for another week.

South Carolina 38 Jacksonville State 28 - The Gamecock Bowl was a tight affair for much of the day. The game was tied in the 4th quarter at 28-28 but JSU started derping all over the place late in the game. The J-Cocks last three possessions resulted in a fumble, a pick-6, and another interception leading to 10 SCar-Cocks points and the W.

Auburn 31 at Vanderbilt 15 - The Commodores are so bad that they can make a guy like Payton Thorne (17/27-194-2 TD-1 INT) look decent. Jarquez Hunter rushed for 183 yards and two scores. VU was held to 266 total yards.

This is really a historically bad Vanderbilt team. I have a few family members who are Vandy boosters (believe it or not, they have a few) and they hated the lazy/cheap hiring of Clark “Who TF Is That?” Lea and they hate it even more now. Lea is 2-16 over his last 18 games - the worst among P5 coaches. VU should finish 2-10 with one FBS win (home vs Hawaii) after they travel to SCar and Tenn in the final weeks.

Kentucky 24 at Mississippi State 3 - Two touchdown passes by Devin Leary and a pick-6 propelled UK to the road win. MSU had only 218 yards of offense and committed 9 penalties.

Speaking of bad/lazy coaching hires, Kentucky has not won in Starkville since 2008 (they play every year) and MSU got one lousy field goal in their home stadium. It was such a terrible hire of Zach Arnett who dismantled everything Mike Leach had built. The Bullies should seriously think about bringing Dan Mullen back.

SEC VS CUPCAKES

Tennessee 59 UConn 3 - Nobody cares.

OTHER STUFF

Clemson 31 Notre Dame 23 - Dabo gave his best Daggummit-Us-Against-the-World speech and the Tigers came out on fire against the Irish. CU held a 24-6 first half advantage but ND made it close. With the Tigers’ Great White Hope RB Will Shipley out with an injury, Phil Mafah stood in and rushed 36 times for 186 yards and two scores. However he also fumbled twice, losing one late in the game.

Ohio State 35 Rutgers 16 - The score does not reflect it but this was a struggle for anOSU. Rutgers led 9-7 until a third quarter ricochet pick-6 gave Ohio the lead and momentum. AnOSU gained only 189 total yards while Bucky WRs Emeka Egbuka and Marvin Harrison Jr. were held to under 30 yards receiving each, though Harrison did score twice.

Michigan 41 Purdue 13 - The Cheaters beat up on the seven-loss Boilermakers in Ann Arbor. Bra-vo.

Penn State 51 Maryland 15 - Taulia’s Terps have been circling the drain since starting 5-0. They have lost four straight with @Nebr, vs Mich, and @Rutgers to go.

Florida State 24 Pitt 7 - FSU got an ugly win over a hapless Pitt (2-7) thanks to three Panthers turnovers and 11 penalties.

Washington 52 Southern Cal 45 - Another game devoid of defense.

Oregon 63 Cal 19 - Cal is awful, but the Dux won big like they are supposed to.

Arizona 27 UCLA 10 - The Wildcats have something special going on. Since Zona had close losses to UW and So Cal, they have reeled off three straight wins over Wazzu, THE Oregon State, and now the Bruins. Remember that time all the talking heads were crowing about the Bruins being a new superpower? Yeah. They ain’t.

Oregon State 26 Colorado 19 - The mean ol’ Beavers handed the media darlings their fifth defeat in the last six games. The Buffys are 4-5 with suddenly hot Arizona, Utah, and AzState left to play.

Iowa 10 Northwestern 7 - An abomination.

WELL, THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG

Texas Tech 35 TCU 28 - Remember that time that the Horned Frogs were the new bad boy on the block? Yeah, well they are 4-5 with Texas, Baylor and @Okie left to play. Going from CFP to no bowl. Shoulda been Bama in the CFP last year...

WELL, THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG, PART 2

Center Florida 28 Cincinnati 26 - The Bearkats are now 2-7 and 0-6 in the B12. How appropriate that Desmond Ridder loses his starting job with the Atlanta Falcons the same week that Cincy is knocked out of bowl eligibility. It makes you wonder how their 2021 season might have gone had UC been in a Big Boy conference all along. FTR, it was Center Fla’s first B12 win.

WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

Utah 55 Arizona State 3 - If Mark Emmert had not opened the floodgates to college football free agency on his way out the door, it makes you wonder what might have become of the Sun Devils (2-7) had QB Jayden Daniels stuck around Tempe.

MILROE: “I’M NOT A RUNNING QUARTERBACK.

ALSO MILROE:

STRIP & SCORE OF THE WEEK

CHEAP SHOT OF THE WEEK

Yes, that Tweet is from Belgium. Give the good people a Like. Their waffles are awesome. And the “giving him the business” reference was a nice touch.

JUICECAM

That is Lane Kiffin’s dog, Juice, who has been trained to retrieve the kickoff tee - though I am not sure of the kicker wants it back. #MaybeJuice

WEIRDEST MOMENT OF THE WEEK (Non-Texas A&M Category)

After Oklahoma State defeated Oklahoma, the students of course rushed the field, tore down the goal posts, and threw them in some murky ass body of water (so lame that everyone wants to emulate Tennessee). However this time, the yellow posts disappeared into the dark waters. Late at night and several hours after the game ended, a few OSU students wondered what became of the posts. Watching several online posts of the actual posts going under, they triangulated where the booty might be. One student emerged himself in the black frigid pond and after several attempts finally recovered a post.

Instead of parading it around downtown with other fans or better yet returning it to OSU - who BTW still has another home game yet to play - the dumbasses snuck it home hanging precariously out of a pick-up truck and took a chop saw to it. Of course they did.

FAKE TUSH PUSH PLAY OF THE WEEK

People are calling it a fumblerooskie but essentially it was just a double snap - and a tough play to pull off without derping.

RUNNER UP FAKE TUSH PUSH PLAY OF THE WEEK

FLEA-FLICKER

PRE-GAME SPEECH OF THE MONTH

This speech from Matt Rhule was two Saturdays ago, but the video wasn’t released until late last week. After that amazing pep talk, it should be no surprise to learn that the Cornhuskers beat the crap out of Purdue 31-14. It’s good to have Rhule back in college football where he belongs. It would be nice to see him make Nebraska into an annual fly-in-the-ointment for anOSU, Michy, and PSU. [Unfortunately, the pep did not last and NU lost at dumpster fire Sparty 20-17 this past Saturday. The ‘Huskers (5-4) have three games to win one: Maryland, @Wisky, Iowa.]

NAME OF THE WEEK

ESPN sideline reporter Stormy Buonantony. Gentlemen, coming to the stage... Stormy Buonan-TONY!

BURN THESE

The Gators claimed that they wore these uniforms to “Salute Those Who Serve”, but why black? Shouldn’t it be blue or green or gold?

IT WAS ALL YELLOW

Oddly enough, I am okay with these unis. It’s that yellow that you can sit with.

RETRO HELMET OF THE WEEK

Mississippi State went old school and even trotted out Jackie Sherrill and the 1998 SEC West winning team, but it did not work out too well score-wise.

Lately, the Bullies have been wearing “State” on the sides of their headgear but I don’t think any of the students can read cursive.

WORST SPECIAL TEAMS OF THE WEEK

VEGAS WINS AGAIN

Purdue was trailing Michigan 41-6 late in the game. With a point spread of 32.5 points seemingly secured, the Spoilermakers scored a touchdown with 18 seconds left on an improbable 4th & 3 at the UM 24 for a final spread of 28.

WTF?

I get that sports can be emotionally draining, especially at this level, but what the bleep is going on here? After Southern Cal dropped their third game in the last four, Caleb Williams ran over into his mama’s arms and openly sobbed like he had just lost his entire family in a house fire. He’ll be 22 in a couple of weeks and will probably still be the number one overall pick in the next NFL Draft. But it makes you wonder if he has what it takes upstairs to survive at the next level.

THAT’S RAYCISS! LET’S ALL LOOT THE NIKE STORE!

WHEN YOUR FRIENDS THINK YOU’RE DRUNK BUT YOU WANT TO STAY AT THE CLUB AND GET ANOTHER DRINK “DUDE! THAT GIRL WAS TOTALLY INTO ME!”

It’s not in the least surprising that someone on staff in Lubbock had a catch pole handy.

FACTS OF THE WEEK

STATS OF THE WEEK

• Ole Miss put up 299 yards in the first half against TAMU. [Alabama held OM to 301 for the whole 4 quarters.]
• Clemson was not flagged a single time in their win over Notre Dame. It is their first time doing so in a game in at least the last 25 seasons. Fishy.
• Mike Gundy recorded his 100th career Big 12 conference win, all at Okie Lite.
• Texas A&M coach Jimbo Fisher has lost 8 consecutive road games.

GAMEDAY SIGNS OF THE WEEK

Other funny signs I saw:

• “What’s the Return Policy on the Louisiana Purchase?”
• “MARDI GRAS WAS INVENTED IN ALABAMA” (true story)
• “JAYDEN DANIELS IS A LIBERAL”
• “BRIAN KELLY PUTS SUGAR ON HIS GRITS”
• “GEAUX HOME”
• “BRIAN SMELLY” - ah, the simplicity of it all.

THE WACKY WORLD OF DESI

College GameDay was in Tuscaloosa and it was LIT!

Next week, GD will be in Athens for Ole Miss-UGA. FOX Noon Kickoff will be covering Penn State-Michigan in Happy Valley (GO PSU!). SEC Nation lands in Lexington for Alabama vs UK.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

See, now, THESE Aggies are actually kinda cool.

• Jamey Chadwell (40-6 over the last four seasons)
• New Mexico State (7-3, 5-1 C-USA) beat MTSU for their fifth win in a row. The last time NMSU won more than seven games was in 1965 when the Aggies finished 8-2.
• Tulane (8-1) barely eked by 8-loss East Carolina 13-10.

COUSINS

• Troy (7-2) - The Trojans shut down South Alabama 28-10 for their sixth straight win and increases their lead for first place in the Sun Belt West. TU (-21) welcomes on ULM on Saturday.
• South Alabama (4-5) - A promising season for the Jags is turning sour real fast. After two straight losses and four of the last six, USA (-11) hosts Arkansas State. That is followed by Marshall and @Texas State. The Jaguars are in extreme danger of not making it to a bowl.
• Jacksonville State (7-3) - The J-Cocks fell to South Carolina 38-28 and now have a week off to reflect.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO REUSES ZIPLOCKS

• UAB (3-6) - The Dragons stave off loss number seven with a 45-42 defeat of FAU. Yoo-Abb heads to Annapolis as a 4.5 point favorite.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

The shocker of the weekend was Army topping previously undefeated Air Force 23-3. The Falcons turned the ball over six times - more than double the five they had in the previous eight games combined. They also missed a 32 yard field goal and turned the ball over on downs on two occasions. This loss throws the 2023 Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy standings into complete chaos.

• Air Force (8-1, 1-1 CIT) - The Falcons (-18.5) hope to regroup at Hawaii.
• Army (3-6, 1-0 CIT) - The Black Knights should pick up a fourth win with a visit from FCS Holy Cross.
• Navy (3-5, 0-1 CIT) - The Midshipmen sink to a lower depth with a loss to godawful Temple 32-18. UAB (-4.5) comes to town.

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Eliminated: All non-P5s, Notre Dame, Clemson, Duke, UNC, Boston College, Louisville, Miami-FL, NC State, Syracuse, Virginia, Wake, Pitt, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, Baylor, Houston, Iowa State, K-State, Kansas, West Virginia, BYU, Cincinnati, Center Florida, Oklahoma State, TCU, Texas Tech, Rutgers, Sparty, Maryland, Minnie, Nebraska, Northwestern, Iowa, Purdue, Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Arizona State, Arizona, Colorado, Stanford, Cal, Southern Cal, Oregon State, Utah, UCLA, Wazzu, South Carolina, Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Tennessee, Missy State, Arky, Auburn, Florida, Texas A&M NEW: Oklahoma, LSU, Mizzou

Endangered: Ohio State, Alabama, Oregon, Washington NEW: n/a

Extremely Endangered: Ole Miss, Penn State NEW: Texas

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture:

DraftKings odds to win the 2023 National Championship:

1. Michigan +800 to +750 to +700 to +475 to +400 to +340 to +280 to +225 to +240 to +220 (bet $100 to win $220)
2. Georgia +220 to+240 to +230 to +300 to +260 to +280 to +275 to +240 to +260
3. FSU +2000 to +1100 +1000 drop to +1200 to +800 to +900 to +800 to +700 to +600 to +600
4. Ohio State +700 to +750 to +900 +1200 to +1000 to +800 to +750 to +900 to +800 to +700 to +750 to +700
5. Alabama +600 to +550 to +2500 to +4000 to +4000 to +2500 to +2000 to +1400 to +900 - up one spot.
6. Oregon to +1600 to +1400 to +2500 to +3000 to +1400 to +1000 - also up one.
7. Washington to +1500 to +1200 to +800 to +1200 to +1400 to +1100 - down two.
8. Texas +2200 to +1000 to +800 to +750 to +1800 to +2200 to +1600 to +1500

• Penn State +2200 to +1800 to +1600 to +1400 to +1200 to +5000 to +8000 to +10000
• Oklahoma +1400 to +1200 to +1400 to +4000 to +30000!!!
• LSU +1100 to +3500 to +3500 to +3000 to +4000 to +15000 to +20000 to +15000 to +8000 to +5000 to OFF THE BOOKS
• Southern Cal +1500 to +1600 to +1500 stays at +1400 to +1600 to +1800 to +2500 to +7500 to +30000 to +40000 to OFF THE BOOKS

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.

• ACC - It’s looking like Florida State who has Miami, a cupcake, and @Florida left on the slate. Louisville’s schedule (8-1) is just too lame, but if they run the table and beat the ‘Noles in the ACCCG, there is a good shot for them.
• Big 12 - Okie is out. Texas remains... but just barely.
• Big Ten - Penn State can either hurt Michigan’s chances or be eliminated when they meet Saturday. anOSU hosts Sparty and Minnie before a trip to Cheatersville.
• PAC-12 - Once again, Washington escaped disaster. They have to play Utah, @Oregon St, and Wazzu in the next three consecutive weeks. Oregon looks to lock in the second slot in the PACCG.
• SEC - UGA and Alabama are the only hopes for the CFP.
• Indies - Notre Dame
• Non-Power 5

NON-POWER 5 QUAGIMRE

FBS is not immune to inclusivity these days. Thanks to the whining of non-P5s, they get a seat at the New Year’s 6 table of elite bowl games. This season’s candidates are a rogues gallery of unworthy teams:

• Tulane (8-1), AAC, ranked 24 in last week’s CFP Poll - The Green Wave recorded their third straight one score win against crappy AAC opponents (all have losing records). They are not helping their NY6 resume with these close wins.
• Air Force (8-1), MWC, ranked 25 in last week’s CFP Poll - Their shocking loss to Army is a big hit to their hopes.
• Fresno (8-1), MWC - A nice record with wins over two P5s - albeit lousy P5s (Purdue, Arizona St). Loss came to Wyoming (6-3).
• Liberty (9-0), C-USA - The Flames have not played any P5s and the 9-team Conference USA is not exactly a strong non-P5.
• James Madison (9-0), Sun Belt - The Dukes are still not even eligible for any bowl much less a NY6.
• Toledo (8-1), MAC - The Rockets are the team nobody is talking about, but their one loss came to Illinois (4-5).

I am beginning to think that perhaps the CFP might want to rethink their 12-team model of including one of these pushovers.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

Last Week’s CFP Rankings:

The first 2023 College Football Playoff rankings put Ohio State ahead of Georgia and Michigan most likely due to the Buckeyes’ wins over Notre Dame and Penn State while UGA and Michy had wins over nobodies. Alabama is at #8. Before you go ballistic on social media, just remember the very first rankings from 2014:

This time a year ago, the four teams that would be eventual CFP participants were #2 Ohio State, #3 UGA, #5 Michigan, and #7 TCU in the first rankings. Losses by #1 Tennessee, #4 Clemson and #6 Alabama would catapult the Frogs up to the fourth spot.

An interesting note on the 2023 rankings is that non-Power 5 Tulane is way down at #24 and Air Force is/was at #25. This diverges from the AP’s assessments: AFA #17, Tulane #21, and JMU #23. It sure looks like the committee has no intentions of allowing an unworthy Cincinnati-type back in this season.

The next CFP rankings release will be aired tonight, November 7, on ESPN at 6 pm CT/7 pm ET.

1. Ohio State at Rutgers W 35-16 - Despite the appearance the score gives, this was a struggle win.
2. Georgia vs Missouri W 30-21 - Some serious derps by Mizzou gave UGA their first win over a ranked team.
3. Michigan vs Purdue W 41-13 - Michy won by 28 against a 7-loss team. Penn State is next.
4. Florida State at Pitt W 24-7 - Pitt is 2-7.
5. Washington at Southern Cal W 52-45 - UW stays unbeaten but that defense - ugh.
6. Oregon vs Cal W 63-19 - Cal is awful, but the Dux flexed their muscles.
7. Texas vs Kansas State W 33-30 (OT) - UT almost blew this one.
8. Alabama vs LSU W 42-28 - Second half takeover for the Tide.
9. Oklahoma at Oklahoma State L 27-24 - Okie can only play spoiler now.
10. Ole Miss vs Texas A&M 38-35 W - A lot of chaos would be needed for OM to get back in the discussion.

LET’S GO BOWLING!

Photo by Joe Robbins/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

• Sadly, the Kellogg Company who manufactures Cheez-It crackers is stealing the thunder from the Cheez-It Bowl and rechristening as the Pop-Tart Bowl. This was one of the funner bowls thanks in part to the hilariously weird mascots, the Cheez-It Bed celebration, the Faux fans of 2020, the dumping of Cheez-Itz on the winning coach’s head and other fun antics. When I think of a Pop-Tart mascot, all I can think of is that Rick & Morty episode.
• 51 teams are now bowl eligible for 82 bowl slots. JMU and JSU are still in limbo. The newest teams to hit 6 wins are Kentucky, West Virginia, Arizona, Duke, NC State, Boston College, Wyoming, Texas St., Coastal Carolina, UTSA.
• 7 of 14 SEC teams are bowl eligible: Bama, UGA, OM, UT, Mizz, UK, and LSU. Florida, TAMU, and Aubie are each one win away. The Gators (5-4) are a longshot with @LSU, @Mizz, and FSU remaining. They REALLY needed to beat Arky to salvage their season. The Aggs (5-4) still have Abilene Christian if they can’t top MSU or @LSU. Aub (5-4) has @Ark, a dangerous New Mexico State (7-3) and @Alabama.
• Only 7 teams are still undefeated: FSU, Georgia, Washington, anOhio State, Michigan, James Madison, and Liberty.

LET’S GO BLOWING!

• Sam Houston (1-8) barely got that first win by beating suckass FCS Kennesaw State 24-21 on a 35-yard field goal as time ran out. No Triple Golden Sombrero Trophy will be awarded this year.
• With USM’s win over ULM, the nation’s longest current losing streaks now belongs alone to Vanderbilt at eight. VU has road games to SCar and Tenn remaining. #RelegateVandy
• 20 teams now have 7 or more losses each. Among the 11 to join this group are Arizona State, Virginia, MTSU, Pitt, Purdue, Cincinnati.
• Power 5 teams that still have yet to defeat a fellow P5 are as follows: Vanderbilt. #RelegateVandy
• BYU, Houston, Center Florida and Cincy have combined for a 5-19 record in B12 games thus far.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to Oklahoma DL Trace Ford who whimpered last week that his former coach Mike Gundy has not been ringing him up on a regular basis to check in on him.

“Not once [have Gundy and I spoke since I transferred], and he doesn’t care that I left,” Ford said during an appearance on WWLS Radio in Oklahoma City. “He didn’t care that I was leaving when I was about to leave. I tried to inform them, he didn’t care. I don’t think the staff and I have the best of relationship. Some of the coaches still text me to this day, but not all of them. That’s for sure. ... When I was informing the coaching staff of thinking about leaving, they were like, ‘OK, get on outta here.’ They’re pretty much like, ‘we don’t want to talk to you.’ So that’s just the life we live. It is what it is.”

[ED.NOTE: The BOLD emphasis is Kristi’s.]

Hmm. Let’s think about this. This guy was with Okie Lite for four seasons including rehabbing through ACL tears in both 2020 and 2021. Then he transfers to big brother up the road (who didn’t even recruit him out of high school) in his final season when they need him the most. And now Gundy - who has 105 of his own players to be concerned about, plus tons of recruits, staff, and managing a football program - doesn’t text him heart-shaped emoticons? GTFOH, Tinkerbell.

HEISMAN HYPE

Alabama pretty much ended Jayden Daniels’s Heisman campaign. He was the QB du jour a week ago with the “best offense in the nation,” so they said. He had some nice numbers (15/24, 219 yds 2 TD, 1 INT, 11 rush, 163 yds 1 TD), but his counterpart Jalen Milroe was just as good (15/23, 219 yds, 20 rush, 155 yds, 4 TD). There was no “Heisman moment” that might have put him ahead of the other hopefuls. Daniels still might end up in NYC though.

With the defense that Alabama has, it makes you wonder how these PAC-12 quarterbacks who are used to Swiss cheese defenses would do against the Tide.

Below are just some of the top Heisman picks in order of the money lines. Odds are provided by DraftKings and many more options can be seen at that link under the AWARDS tab. [Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.]

1. QB Michael Penix (6th YR, Washington) from +1600 to +900 to +550 to +400 to +380 to +200 to -140 to +320 to +280 to +140
2. QB Bo Nix (5th YR, Oregon) +1000 to +900 to +600 to +2000 to +1600 to +600 to +210
3. QB JJ McCarthy (JR, Michigan) out of nowhere up to +1000 to +240 to +300 to +650 - (335 passing yards vs PU but oddly no scoring throws; dropped from first to third.)
4. QB Jordan Travis (6th YR, FSU) from +1400 to +900 to +1500 to +1200 to +1500 to +1600 to +1200 to +800 to +1100 to +800 to +850
5. QB Carson Beck (JR, Georgia) to +3000 to +1200 to take advantage of gullible UGA fanatics.
6. WR Marvin Harrison Jr. (JR, anOhio State) +2000 to +1600 to +1200 to +1800
7. RB Ollie Gordon (2nd YR, Oklahoma State) +4000 token RB
8. QB Jalen Milroe (RS-SO, Bama) +12000 to +10000 to +9000 to +5000 to +8000 to +5000

• QB Caleb Williams (JR, Southern Cal) +450 to +400 to +380 to +400 to +180 to +220 to +2000 to +8000 to +9000
• QB Dillon Gabriel (5th YR, Oklahoma) +1200 to +1000 to +1100 to +3500 to +12000
• QB Drake Maye (JR, UNC) +1800 to +5000 +10000 to +12000
• QB Sam Hartman (6th YR, Notre Dame) +1600 to +2000 to +1100 to +2200 to +6500 to +8000 to +10000 to +30000
• RB Jase McClellan (SR, Bama) +12000 to +15000 to +20000 to +20000 to +30000
• QB Shedeur Sanders (JR, Colorado) +1800 to +8000 to +12000 to +20000 to +30000 to +50000
• QB Jayden Daniels (5th YR, LSU) +1100 to +3000 to +2200 +1800 to +2500 to +3500 to +1400 to +340 to +400 to OFF THE BOOKS
• QB Quinn Ewers (RS-SO, Texas) +1300 to +900 to +700 to +600 to +900 to +3000 +5000 to OFF THE BOOKS

THE SICK REPORT

• Ohio State’s #3 running back Miyan Williams will miss the rest of the season after undergoing surgery last Tuesday. Fellow running back TreVeyon Henderson has been banged up most of the season, missing several games. Williams and Chip Trayanum have filled in.
• Florida will be without leading tackler Shemar James for the rest of the season after the sophomore had surgery on his left knee Wednesday. The sophomore LB is from Mobile, AL.
• Duke starting quarterback Riley Leonard and backup Henry Belin are both out due to injuries. Coach Mike Elko said that Leonard will be out “for a while” with an injury to his left foot following a right ankle injury. The Blue Devils barely defeated a bad Wake Forest team on a walk-off field goal at home without these two QBs. The Dookies finish at UNC, at 2-win UVa and home vs 2-win Pitt.

R.I.P.

• Army, Indiana, and Texas Tech controversial hothead Bobby Knight. He was a complicated man. Discuss.

DRAMA

As you have probably seen by now, this Jim Harbaugh Spygate onion has peeled back another layer of deceit. Suspended Michigan analyst Connor Stalions has been identified on the sidelines of the Central Michigan-Michigan State game in Week 1 of this season - a Friday night game. The Wolverines played on Saturday. Why and how a Michigan staffer was there in matching CMU coaching gear is a mystery for now. Chippewas head coach Jim McElwain is in full deny mode for now, but it is highly questionable that he did not recognize the presence of this stranger wearing dark sunglasses during a night game (insert Corey Hart reference here) so close to the coaching box. All visitors/outsiders on sidelines are pushed to the outer ends of the bench and into the endlines.

To show you how close Stalions was to the nucleus of coaching staff, the assistant closest to McElwain in the above photo is Offensive Line Coach Tavita Thompson. The coach with the long sleeves and turned head is believed to be Special Teams Coordinator/Safeties Coach Keith Murphy. These are two of the ten main assistants on staff.

Video coverage shows the “sunglasses man” dipping his head when action came his way and brought assumed camera coverage with it. The figure is also seen ducking behind one of the largest people on the sidelines in 6-foot-6 former Oregon State offensive tackle Thompson.

Oddly enough, the first casualty of this whole scandal could be McElwain. If CMU was looking for an excuse to get rid of their head coach, this might be a perfect opportunity. McElwain had winning records in 2019 and 2021 but went 4-8 last year and the Chippies are 5-4 this season.

On his Thursday night radio show, Purdue coach Ryan Walters said the school has evidence of Michigan scouting the Boilermakers games: “It’s unfortunate,” Walters said. “What’s crazy is they weren’t allegations. It happened. There’s video evidence. There’s ticket purchases and sales that you can track back. We know for a fact that they were at a number of our games, so we’ve had to teach our guys a new language in terms of some signals.”

Big Ten Commissioner Tony Petitti has been drawing some serious heat over his ass-dragging over this Michigan Spygate situation. In a conference call with B1G athletic directors minus UM’s Warde Manuel this past week, the conference’s ADs jumped all down commish’s throat about his inaction and lack of taking this cheating issue more seriously. You just KNOW Petitti wants Michigan to play out the season and then he will come scold them with a wagging finger sometime later during a Friday news dump.

Michigan State athletic director Alan Haller was the most vocal. He rightfully brought up last season’s tunnel alteration between the Spartans and Wolverines when the Big Ten forced Michigan State to suspend numerous players before the league finished investigating the incident.

KOACHES KORNER

• Clock management incompetent Deion Sanders has found a scapegoat in Boulder in his OC Sean Lewis. Coach Prime promoted NFL pariah Pat Shurmur from an analyst position to be play-caller and demoted Lewis to the guy who signals in plays from the sidelines. How did that work out for the Buffys (4-5, 1-5 P12)? They lost to Oregon State 26-19 while gaining a season-low 238 yards. Lewis, who quit his head coaching job at Kent State to join Deion’s Snake Oil Salesman show, is probably one of many who regrets falling for the hype.
• In a different approach, Sam Pittman straight up fired his OC, Dan Enos, for his malpractice of the Arkansas offense. WR coach Kenny Guiton took over the playcalling duties and lo and behold the Hogs came up with 481 yards of offense to snap a 6-game losing streak and did so on the road.
• Southern Cal coach Lincoln Riley fired DC Alex Grinch. I’m sensing a theme here. While Grinch’s defenses were pretty awful, the buck stops with Riley. This guy is a great offensive coach but he has zero instincts when it comes to defense. It would not be surprising to hear that he probably does not even sit in on defensive meetings (pure speculation). This reputation as well as Grinch followed him from Oklahoma to LaLa Land.
• When Dabo Swinney performed his little tirade against “Tyler from Spartanburg” last week, some observers were questioning whether Tyler was a plant put in place so that the Clemson coach had an excuse to go on a tirade to fire his listless team up. I’m beginning to think that is not such a far-fetched thought. Dabo has been known to use gimmicks and plenty of “Us Against the World” mantras in the past. It is very likely that Dabo used this whole episode to pull out some of his Golden Oldies cliches that this current team has not heard before.
• Urban Meyer’s daughter asked her daddy “am I pretty or ugly?” He replied “you’re both.” When she asked what he meant, Urbie replied “You’re pretty ugly.”
• Fat F*** Phil Fulmer was crossing the street and people in cars started driving circles around him because they thought he was a roundabout.

TEEVEE

ESPN continues to cast off their best writers in favor of idiots with hot takes.

THIS WEEK

(Below is an abbreviated list of highlighted games of interest with lines provided by DraftKings. If you REALLY need to know about the big Sam Houston-Louisiana Tech showdown, you can find the details here.)

Tuesday, November 7

Ball State at Northern Illinois 6pm/7pm CBS Sports Network
Central Michigan at Western Michigan 6pm/7pm ESPNU
Ohio at Buffalo 6:30/7:30 ESPN2

Wednesday, November 8

Akron at Miami (OH) 6pm/7pm ESPNU
Bowling Green at Kent State 6pm/7pm CBS Sports Network
Eastern Michigan at Toledo 6:30/7:30 ESPN2

Thursday, November 9

North Texas at SMU (-17) 8pm/9pm ESPN2
Wyoming at UNLV (-4) 9:45/10:45 FS1

Friday, November 10

Virginia at Louisville (-20) 6:30/7:30 ESPN2
Southern Miss at ULL (-10.5) 6:30/7:30 ESPNU

Saturday, November 11

SEC

Vanderbilt at South Carolina (-14) 11am/Noon SECN - SCar is on a downward spiral. Will it continue? Will Vandy get their first SEC win of the season? Tune in... IF YOU DARE! MWAHAHAHA!
Tennessee (-1.5) at Missouri 2:30/3:30 CBS - If you can bear rooting for UT, a Vols win helps Bama’s resume.
Auburn at Arkansas (-3) 3pm/4pm SECN - Arky on the rise?
Ole Miss at Georgia (-11) 6pm/7pm ESPN -
Florida at LSU (-13.5) 6:30/7:30 SECN - Who has a bigger hangover. Imma guess Fla.
Mississippi State at Texas A&M (-19) 6:30/7:30 ESPN2 - Two struggling teams, one weird.

OTHERS WORTH A PEEK

Michigan (-4.5) at Penn State 11am/Noon FOX - FINALLY! A real game for UM.
Miami at Florida State (-14.5) 2:30/3:30 ABC - The ‘Canes get up for big ones and sleepwalk the ones they should win.
Utah at Washington (-9) 2:30/3:30 FOX - The Two Utes could help us out.

“UP ALL NIGHT, SLEEP ALL DAY” ~ Slaughter

Southern Cal at Oregon (-14.5) 9:30/10:30 FOX

*Lines provided by DraftKings.

SABAN vs. POP & BEAR

Back in the preseason, Nick Saban was quoted as saying: “There’s only like one player that I was really like disappointed that the guy didn’t stay here, and I couldn’t understand why he was leaving.” It was widely believes that that one player was A-A-Ron Anderson. Saban was not just talking s**t after the LSU game. Anderson truly would be playing more if he had stayed in T-town. Maybe a future transfer back? With the Tigers, the second year receiver has 12 receptions for only 59 yards - a teeny tiny 4.9 ypc. He has not scored.

Saban now has 202 wins at Alabama, passing up Vince Dooley of UGA for the second most by a coach at a single SEC school. Paul William Bryant is #1 with 232.

Below is a count of total career FBS/Division I-A win tallies for coaches.

For those of you new to RBR Random Thoughts, we count all on-field wins at the FBS/Division I-A level. So, before you go squawking about Frank Beamer, 42 of his wins came at Murray State. Mack Brown had six victories in one season with Appalachian State when they were still in what was known at I-AA (FCS today). Brian Kelly won 118 games with something called Grand Valley State. So, let’s stop talking about his win record with such reverence. In addition, we don’t recognize NCAA sanctioned forfeits. If you won on the field, it counts in our books.

Mack Brown’s Tar Heels beat li’l ‘ol Campbell.

#ALABAMA

• Alabama wins the SEC West unless: the Tide loses to Kentucky and Auburn, AND Ole Miss beats Georgia and Missy State. So, Bama beating LSU? Yeah. That was pretty huge.
• If you haven’t figured it out by now, Alabama can clinch the division with a win over UK.
• QB Jalen Milroe was named SEC Co-Offensive Player of the Week.
• Bama has defeated LSU 11 out of the last 13 times.
• On Monday, Saban reported that LB Deontae Lawson has an ankle injury and DB Jaylen Key has a quad injury. They are both day-to-day and questionable for the Kentucky game. He also added that WR Ja’Corey Brooks banged up his shoulder in the LSU game.
• Alabama-Chattanooga on Nov. 18 will air on SEC+ at 11:00am/Noon. It’s Senior Day for the Tide.

GAME 10: Saturday, November 11, 2023

Alabama Crimson Tide (8-1, 6-0) vs Kentucky Wildcats (6-3, 3-3)

Tuscaloosa, AL ~ 11:00am/Noon ESPN

• Mark Stoops is the second longest tenured SEC head coach, now in his 11th season for Kentucky. He is 72-62 overall and 35–53 in the SEC.
• The Wildcats won their first five games which were made up of three cupcakes, plus Vandy, and Florida. But then they ran into the buzzsaw of the SEC East - UGA, Mizzou, and Tennessee - that handed them three straight losses. Last week they won at Mississippi State 24-3. It is Senior Day for UK.
• NC State QB transfer Devin Leary (57.4 CMP%, 18 TD, 7 INT) has not lived up to his off-season billing.
• Alabama is 38-2-1 all-time against the ‘Cats. Bama’s last defeat to UK came in 1997 (Mike DuBose’s first season) at the hands of Tim Couch, a 40-34 OT shocker.
• The Lexington weather forecast calls sunny skies but a high of only 55°. Take a heavy jacket AND sunscreen.
• TV Announcers are Joe Tessitore, Jordan Rodgers, Katie George.
• Back on the road with Chris Stewart on Alabama Radio.
• According to DraftKings, Alabama opened as a 10 point favorite over UK before the LSU game was even played. As of post, Bama is an 10.5 point favorite. The Over/Under is around 47.5.

Odds/lines subject to change. T&Cs apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for details.