In last night’s recap, we were awed at the job Brandon Miller put in on the road, after a full newscycle of some of the most bad faith character assassination I’ve seen in college sports. The record will eventually be corrected, but hopefully before even more incremental damage is done. And harm is a very real possibility — especially from Clay Travis fanboys presently calling / emailing the University with threats.
Sue all these bastards.
Speaking of bastards, on a night when the USC student section was — oh, so! — cleverly chanting “Lock Him Up,” Miller had the best night by a player in an Alabama uniform in over half a decade:
Miller was able to eclipse the 40-point mark on the game-winning shot with under one second to go. He is the first Crimson Tide player to score 40 points (41) since Collin Sexton had 40 in a memorable contest against Minnesota.
The only thing he’s locked up is the SEC Player of the Year and a likely Top 3 lottery pick, you cousin-humping gimps. Hope you fail Organic Chem and have a three-day hangover.
Sometimes the best way to silence the critics is to be so good that they can only hate you further...and that performance only made haters seethe some more.
And for those of you who suggested that AMG was done; that the goofs had dusted the Xanax and Cheetos from their cat hair-covered PJs long enough to log off Farmers Only and bang Neanderthalithic-thick skulls into a keyboard to very publicly correct the record?
Until such time as the record is corrected as publicly and with as much fanfare by these allegedly Pulitzer-winning “journalists,” I have nothing else to say about them, or traffic to send their way.
So, for now, you can find them in their local dumpsters, nursing Condé Nast’s rancid three-headed turtle peener for $28,900 a year, dying of heart attacks at 45, while fighting raccoons over Lean Cuisine scraps, the last few sips of box wine and whatever rotten lump in the corner once passed for dignity.*
*RBR is attempting to ascertain the veracity of these statements, but one of our sources hinted that this was the case. And you know, fuck it, we just ran with it too! It could be right. It could be wrong.
I would direct the C-listers to Hustler Magazine and Larry C. Flynt, Petitioners v. Jerry Falwell 485 U.S. 46 (1988), should they have further questions. We don’t hate you; we’re just here to complete the record. Satirically.
Florida defensive coordinator Patrick Toney is leaving after one season to take a position with the Arizona Cardinals, Gators coach Billy Napier confirmed on Wednesday. Napier acted fast in finding a replacement, tapping Alabama linebackers coach Austin Armstrong as his new defensive playcaller, according to ESPN. Armstrong, 29, becomes the youngest defensive coordinator at the Power Five level.
The Gators struggled defensively in Toney’s first season, finishing No. 97 in total defense and giving up nearly 29 points per game. Florida was especially ineffective on third down, ranking only ahead of Colorado and South Florida nationally after allowing conversions on 49.7% of third downs.
Alabama brought in very young, very inexperienced Austin Armstrong from flailing Southern Miss to coach the Tide’s ILB group. Given the spotty results the Tide have had at that position of late, this is a chance to get an experienced coach to plug the gap immediately and work better with Steele’s defense (Armstrong was hired before Steele, if you recall).
I’m not sure that DC at struggling Florida gets you to head coach quicker than being on ‘Bama’s staff...but this is also not the program for a lot of coaches, and especially younger ones seem to struggle. Saban has hinted at generational gaps, and that is what we could have seen with this move.
I think Armstrong has a definite future — he’s very bright. Best of luck to him.
Nate Oats raved over this team gutting out a tough win on the road last night. BMill was especially iconic. But the whole team somehow found a way despite just two guys hitting double-digits.
On what was different about Miller tonight…
“You kind of go back to the Vandy game, which is a comparison to this one a little bit. I thought he came ready to play then out of the gate. Now, there hasn’t been many games he hasn’t been locked in, to be honest with you, but basketball kind of becomes a safe haven a little bit for some of these guys. They get on the floor, they can kind of lock into what they’ve done their whole lives and put some of the outside stuff out of their mind. I thought Brandon did a great job really getting himself mentally prepared to play, and shoot, he was really aggressive tonight. We needed him to be aggressive.
“A lot of our other guys that had been scoring the ball well for us – shoot, we scored 78 points and only had two guys in double figures. That’s not typical for this team. We usually have pretty balanced scoring outside of that. Sears has been good for us. Jaden Bradley’s been good. Clowney’s been good. Nimari’s been shooting the ball pretty well. He couldn’t make a shot tonight. Brandon needed to be aggressive – he was. I thought you could tell early on he was trying to be extra aggressive, and they were doing a pretty good job defending him, too, and they put all kinds of different matchups on him. At the end, they put Meechie Johnson on him. They tried to go small on him, but Brandon did a good job attacking and getting downhill on that stuff.”
Some of them I like...
Another proposal that makes sense is prohibiting coaches from taking consecutive timeouts, which happens when a team is trying to ice a kicker. This is a great rule change that should’ve been implemented years ago. It’s absurd when the final three seconds of a game takes five-plus minutes of real time because a team calls two or three timeouts in a row.
Some of them I despise...
However, one proposal that’s not on the table is shortening halftime, which makes no sense. This is the easiest way to chop five minutes off a broadcast. The college football halftime is 20 minutes. The NFL halftime is 12 minutes. There’s no reason for college football’s halftime to be more than 15 minutes.
CFB has already become corporatized and far too much like the NFL as it is. The pageantry of halftime, and its function as a school event is integral to the experience. You can’t kill that off and retain its character.
Which means it almost certainly will happen one day.
FINALLY, Softball had a banner day yesterday in the Tide’s 3-2 win.
Patrick Murphy notched career win 1200, just the 9th skipper to reach that number.
And Tide Freshman Kenleigh Cahalan has started this season off red-hot, hitting a record held only by a Tide legend.
“Kenleigh Cahalan has started her freshman campaign on an eight-game hitting streak... the only other Crimson Tide freshman to do so was Haylie McCleney, who started her 2013 rookie season on a 12-game hit streak,” said Alabama softball.
If you’re ever mentioned in the same breath as Haylie McCleney, take that win to your grave It’s as a career milestone: You done good.
We’ll be back later with Bracketology for you. Roll Tide