In the fourth installment of our wild blind dart-throwing predictions, we travel to the land of creepy male cheerleaders in overalls and crew cuts telling jokes that your dad would pass on for Year 6 of the Jimbo meh-fest.
WEEK 6, OCT 7: TEXAS A&M AGGIES
Coach: Jimbo Fisher, age 57 (39–21, SEC 23–18, five years at TAMU; 122–44 overall)
2022 record: 5-7 LOL! (2-6 in SEC, last in the West Division)
CB969 2022 Prediction: 9-3 “TAMU has a loaded roster and a good coaching staff. They should be solid, but not playoff bound unless the SEC gets three teams in.....”
Looking back: I’m glad I am not the only one who was so wrong about the Aggies last season. What a glorious implosion! An inexplicable and FUGLY home loss to App State in Week 2 was followed by a wins over equally bad train wreck Miami-FL and then Arky. However, the bottom soon thereafter promptly dropped out. SIX straight losses until a defeat of UMass followed by an upset of LSU to get to 5-7.
Returning starters: 8 on offense, 8 on defense, punter, kicker
Key losses: RB Devon Achane (3rd round, Dolphins), S Antonio Johnson (5th round, Jaguars), CB Jaylon Jones (7th round, Colts), TE Donovan Green (ACL, out for season), CB Denver Harris (transfer to LSU), QB Haynes King (Georgia Tech), DL Anthony Lucas (Southern Cal).
Top returnees: QB Conner Weigman, leading WR Evan Stewart, WR Moose Muhammad, WR/RB Ainias Smith, DL McKinnley Jackson, DB Demani Richardson, OL Layden Robinson, P Nik Constantinou, C Bryce Foster (missed most of last season due to injury), defensive coordinator D. J. Durkin.
Top newcomers: New offensive coordinator Bobby Petrino, projected starting CB Tony Grimes (transfer from UNC), DL DJ Hicks (FR).
Name you need to know: After slipping through the clutches of the law thanks to the leniency of an Aggie law grad DA, Ainias Smith has kept his nose clean and has developed into a versatile weapon for TAMU. He is an all-purpose back who is a pass catcher, rusher, and punt returner. He started the first four games of last season before suffering a season-ending leg injury. He’ll be looking to fill up a highlight reel for NFL scouts in his final season in College Station.
Strengths: Top three wide receivers... Secondary... Aggies have a couple of good D-linemen but need more depth...
Weaknesses: Jimbo Fisher’s big mouth and ego... Finding a new running back after Achane carried the vast bulk of the load last year... The OL has some returning starters but they struggled mightily in 2022... Weirdo male Yell leaders...
Outlook: TAMU fans are quick to beat their chests over 16 returning starters. When they do, be sure to remind them that is 16 returning starters from a 5-7 team that lost at home to App State. Many various media types have been hyping the Aggies in what has become an annual affair. I’m not buying it.
Fisher brought in Bobby Petrino to run the offense. Admittedly, Petrino has produced powerful offenses in the past. But is he rusty since exiting FBS in 2018? Can he take orders from a guy whose ego is as big as his own? It should make for an interesting dynamic when two coaches who have reputations for brashness and arrogance try to join forces. How long until the first disagreement arises on a play call and Jimbo whirls his head around and glares up at the coaches’ booth?
Win Total Odds*
Over 8 -115 (bet $115 to win $100)
Under 8 +105 (bet $100 to win $105)
2023 TAMU SCHEDULE:
Sat, Sep 2 vs New Mexico - W
Sat, Sep 9 @ Miami - W
Sat, Sep 16 vs UL Monroe - W
Sat, Sep 23 vs Auburn - W
Sat, Sep 30 vs Arkansas (in Arlington) - W
Sat, Oct 7 vs Alabama - L -
Sat, Oct 14 @ Tennessee - L
Sat, Oct 28 vs South Carolina - W
Sat, Nov 4 @ Ole Miss - L
Sat, Nov 11 vs Mississippi State - W
Sat, Nov 18 vs Abilene Christian - W
Sat, Nov 25 @ LSU - L
Regular season wins for Aggie in 2023:
This poll is closed
10 or more (GIVE HIM AN EXTENSION!)
5 or less (and still can’t fire him because the buyout is astronomical.)
2023 ALABAMA SCHEDULE PREVIEWS:
Sat, Sep 2 vs Middle Tennessee
Sat, Sep 9 vs Texas
Sat, Sep 16 @ South Florida
Sat, Sep 23 vs Ole Miss
Sat, Sep 30 @ Mississippi State
Sat, Oct 7 @ Texas A&M
Sat, Oct 14 vs Arkansas
Sat, Oct 21 vs Tennessee
Sat, Oct 28 off week
Sat, Nov 4 vs LSU
Sat, Nov 11 @ Kentucky
Sat, Nov 18 vs Chattanooga
Sat, Nov 25 @ Auburn